


The Sharpie Tattoo Syllogism

by ladyofjest



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, Flash Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-01
Updated: 2010-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofjest/pseuds/ladyofjest





	The Sharpie Tattoo Syllogism

It had taken months.

Oh, not the research. Spending so much time with the boys meant she had a working knowledge of the layout of Caltech - she could, for example, find the languages department without too much trouble. Chatting up a Chinese professor about the deplorable practice of ideograph tattoos was even easier, though it galled when he inspected her drawing and confirmed what should have been "courage" was, in fact, "soup." She smiled through gritted teeth and asked for his help on another character. He painstakingly drew the one she wanted on the flip side of the copy of her own woefully inaccurate ideograph.

All that was called for after that was a black Sharpie and enough time with an unconscious and somewhat easily stripped Sheldon. Given the relatively recent development of their relationship into something odd but startlingly human, this was also easier than Penny would have thought those many months ago, the night she dislocated her shoulder due to a lack of adhesive ducks.

She was smiling fondly at those ducks in the bottom of her tub - she'd ended up purchasing a set to match Sheldon's - when his trademark knock echoed through the apartment.

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny!" It was disturbingly early on a Saturday morning, and normally Penny would kill whoever bothered her sleep rather than lay willing claim to consciousness. This morning, however, she'd risen with a sneaky sense of anticipation just after Sheldon had slipped out of her bed to return to his own apartment for his daily ablutions.

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny!" Her apartment may have been neater since the two of them became intimate, but it still wasn't up to Sheldon's meticulous standards. She set down her hairbrush, leaving her clean-but-not-clean-enough bathroom behind to skip toward the door.

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny!" She snatched the door open before he'd finished the third utterance of her name. Penny smirked up at him, eyes bright.

"You know, sweetie, you have a key now for a reason."

He just stared at her in utter consternation. "Penny, why does my... _gluteus maximus_ bear a Chinese ideogram? Specifically, the ideogram translated as 'smart'? I know I'm intelligent. I don't need to be branded with it in Chinese."

He'd started normally enough, but he was in full-on Texas drawl by the end. Penny didn't bother to keep her grin from widening, singing out at her boyfriend, "It's a riddle!"

His frown deepened, face twitching. She added, brightly, "It says 'smart' and it's on your--"

"Buttock?"

She made a "come along" gesture with her hand, falling back into her apartment. She really didn't need her enjoyment of this scene tempered later by Mrs. Gunderson quoting parts of it back to her. He automatically followed, shutting the door and continuing, "Left buttock?"

They faced each other for a tense moment, Penny with an expectant grin and Sheldon with a confused scowl. Penny at last threw her hands up in exasperation. "It's on your ass, Sheldon! It says 'smart' and it's on your ass, because you're a smart-ass!"

His eyes narrowed with exasperation of his own. "Oh, that's not even humorous."

Penny grinned up at him once more, wrapping her arms about his waist. He unconsciously pulled her closer, still complaining, "I'll have to scrub with rubbing alcohol now, and it's just undignified--"

"Sheldon?"

He regarded her warily. She raised herself to her tiptoes and murmured against his lips: "Bazinga!"


End file.
